"He just wants to say hello"

From dog and human encounters

The thing with expectations

"He just wants to say hello" We dog owners hear this or similar phrases every day when we are out and about with our dog and a strange dog - dragging its owner behind it on the (flexi) leash - approaches us. A similar scenario: Before you know it, a "Tut nix" comes running out of nowhere and immediately docks with its nose at the rear end of your dog. From the owner far and wide no trace and when he finally appears, you get to hear again sentences like: "Mine is quite nice", "He just wants to say hello", "Oh how nice they play" and so on. While your dog is already quite annoyed. We all know it. But it could be so simple. If the human factor would not be. In this case the other end of the leash is really to blame, if there is a leash on the dog at all.

Imagine the following scenario: You are sitting comfortably in a café enjoying the beautiful day. Suddenly, a complete stranger comes up, hugs you, sits right next to you and unpacks a set of cards. Since you are not immediately fire and flame to play a round of skat with a complete stranger, this person becomes more and more penetrating and literally forces himself on you. You try to be polite at first, but since the other person obviously doesn't like it, you have to be more and more explicit. You can't escape either, because this strange person follows you and jumps piggyback on your back, literally pushes the playing cards into your face and continues to annoy you. The surrounding passers-by and café visitors don't help you either. Don't they understand or just don't want to help? Not a nice feeling, is it? But how do you get out of this situation? You can hope that it will soon be over and continue to politely say that you don't want it. So endure. Unfortunately, this doesn't help, because you continue to be harassed. So what are your other options? Escape, attack, get involved in a round of games? All in all, it's not a nice situation. And you can't count on help from the outside.

Many of our dogs feel the same way when they are unintentionally harassed or forced into contact situations enforced by people (I'm just talking about free-wheeling zones), because our dogs have to play with everyone. The owners talk nicely and don't seem to want to notice that there is no nice play going on here. Often even bullying takes place in the presence of the owners without being seen. In retrospect, the owners then wonder why their dog in the worst case develops a pronounced aversion to other dogs or a so-called leash aggression. All of this could have been prevented if people would adhere to certain principles, if they could read their dogs, assess situations, intervene when a dog is uncomfortable and simply travel with a little more respect and courtesy.

There are many reasons why a dog may/cannot have contact (whether on or off leash) right now. These include fear and insecurity, illness, being in heat, age, training level, aggressive behavior towards other dogs, new to owner, etc. But all those reasons aside, I don't have to justify myself after all. It is ME who decides what applies to my dog and me (or the other person, because many owners simply misjudge situations) in this situation, not my other person who doesn't even know me, my dog and our situation. Where do we end up with other people deciding for me??? 🙄 That alone should be reason enough for us to be considerate of each other. If someone asks me to do something or refrain from doing something, I do comply and don't ask why or start arguing. Many people also put their own dogs in danger with this behavior by simply letting them go to strange dogs without knowing if they are socially compatible with conspecifics. Mostly then also the sentence comes "They need social contact and regulate that already among themselves". I ask myself then again and again, WHAT they are supposed to regulate. Two unknown dogs meet each other, who do not live together. What should they regulate please? They do not live together and have no other relationship to each other. In the best case it is really checked once, who is the counterpart and both go their way. Often these encounters are not so nice for at least one of the two dogs, as I have already described at the beginning. Or the dogs regulate this really among themselves - then however to the chagrin of humans and annoyance is pre-programmed.

We are responsible for our dogs and should teach them how to behave adequately in our society. At the same time we should offer them protection. None of our dogs chose to live with us. Selected social contacts are important and necessary. But not at any price and all the time. The latter, by the way, leads to a certain expectation in the dog, which can quickly lead to frustration if it is not met. And this in turn can also lead to so-called leash aggression.

So let's set a good example ourselves and pay attention to the following things:

  • If our dog is in the free run and a person with a leashed dog comes towards us, then we also leash our dog. We do not allow any contact on the leash. The danger is too great that false connections or conflicts arise here. On the leash, the dogs cannot communicate as clearly as they would without it. Often a leash chaos develops, which causes again narrowness. The dogs can not leave, stress arises and the conflict is pre-programmed. Of course, there are exceptions. Dogs that know each other and are able to greet each other calmly may of course have contact on the leash. It can also be that a dog is on the leash because it is very hunting. Then I talk to the owner and my dog is free and the other on the leash. So at least there can be no leash chaos.
  • We keep enough distance to the other human-dog-team and pass it in a slight arc. Our own dog ideally on the opposite side next to us.
  • We make sure that our dog is always retrievable when running free and does not bother other people, dogs or animals. I know the body language of dogs and can therefore stop my dog if it is, for example, too pushy or I recognize that the other person feels uncomfortable.
  • If we want to let the dogs interact together in the free run, we discuss this with the other owner beforehand. In the best case we walk together a few steps in the same direction and then leash the dogs out of a calm dynamic. This way the first contact is directly a little less tense.
  • I never let my dog race frontally and from a great distance to other dogs. Frontal and fast movements are not nice and are very often perceived as provocation or even attack. This usually causes stress/uncertainty to the other dog. However, it can also lead to the fact that the opposite feels provoked/attacked and your dog directly one gives. Rightly so.
  • Ifan unleashed dog comes towards our dog, then we pour our dog by fending off the strange dog.

If we are too late and a strange dog is already with us and our leashed dog, please note the following: If possible, also leash your dog so it can move freely and communicate. Otherwise keep the leash high but not on tension so that the dogs can sniff each other and circle each other and none of the dogs gets tangled in the leash. Follow behind your dog in the movement. Usually the contacts are over quickly afterwards, as in free running. Because you know, most adult dogs who do not know each other do not play with each other! Then move on and hook on. The relationship with your dog will not be ruined by this. If we panic ourselves and put the leash under tension, this will quickly be transferred to our own dog. Be a sovereign partner to your dog and stay calm. Show him that you can assess situations and act.

Last but not least do not forget to greet. :-)

Mistakes happen to everyone. That is also ok. You apologize and collect your dog. Fortunately, the majority of dog owners are considerate. Besides, most of the "just saying hello" dogs are really harmless. Nevertheless, you are allowed to say that to your counterpart. Biting is not pleasant but remember that you have to go home with your dog and it is about your relationship and not about what other people may think of you at that moment!

In this sense to a harmonious togetherness.

Your Anja with Sammy


Click here for more information about Anja Papenberg, Martin Rütter DOGS

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